Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
