Porn is love you can see.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
