we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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