i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
