I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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