He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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