also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
