Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
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