I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
