Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
