lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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