I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
