Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize