I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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