may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
