She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
