Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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