no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
