Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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