literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
