420 ftw
barbara walters just said penis...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Boobs speak an international language.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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