I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
