I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize