I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
