Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
