Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
