apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
