Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
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It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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