I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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