it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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