Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
