Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
