You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This baby is an asshole
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
