I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i think my cat just said my name.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
