i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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