Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
