But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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