In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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