you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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