So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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