You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
