let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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