Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
A bitchslap is in order.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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