I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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