therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
