It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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