your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
