I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
