I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
