i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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