I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Where is the hickey?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
