i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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