Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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