Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
