Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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