you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
