i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
