Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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