Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
